My Cardboard Box

And Oh What Heights We’ll Hit

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My background take on the George Lucas (GL) WWII movie saga:

GL: Hi, I made a movie called Star Wars.

Critics: Where are the blacks?

GL: ?

Critics: No wait – you have James Earl Jones – no wait – just his voice. And he’d a Bad Guy. What’re you, some kind of racist?

GL: But Star War is a metaphor for the Viet Nam War! The rebels are the g–damn Viet Cong!

Critics: Ooooh! Inside baseball. Nice. But you still have no blacks (or Latinos) in it. Richard Pryor isn’t going to like it.

GL: Richard Pryor is a comedian. And I was going to have Toshirō Mifune play Obi Wan Kenobi…

Critics: Too inside baseball. And it’s stereotyping. In addition to being racist.

GL: (sigh) Okay – here’s Star Wars 2. The Empire Strikes Back. It has Billy Dee Williams playing Lando Calrissian. And there are African-Americans in the floating city.

Critics: Oh, now you’re doing the “token black” thing, plus stereotyping, and typecasting?? And you’re still only using James Earl Jones’ voice and not Jones himself?

GL: “Luke, I am your father”….. ?

[Long Clueless Silence]

Critics: Spike Lee is gonna have a fit.

GL: Spike Who?

Critics: You racist bastard.

GL: Then you’re really going to hate Jar Jar Binks.

[Cue 2012…]

GL: Hi, I’ve made a movie called Red Tails. It’s about the Tuskagee Airmen.

Critics: But is it a “green” movie? We looove “green” movies!

GL: It’s very patriotic, very jingoistic, very old-fashioned, corny, just exactly like Flying Leathernecks, only this one was held up for release from 1942 when it was shot.

Critics: Flying What?

GL: Flying Leathernecks? John Wayne?

[silence]

GL: It’s “retro”. Like Pearl Harbor was.

Critics: Oh. Well, where’s the evil industrialists? Y’know – like the Koch brothers?

GL: It’s an all black movie, fer crissakes. There’s no major white roles in it at all. It’s one of the first all black action pictures ever made!

Critics: But where’s the drowning polar bear cub?

GL: It’s got Cuba Gooding in it.

Critics: You couldn’t work in Captain Planet instead? Your kind are good at that computer-generated thingie-stuff.

GL: You racist bastards.

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Written by PappyBro

January 18, 2012 at 19:26

Posted in Media, Musings

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